The workplace can be stressful and it seems like it isn’t getting any easier. Whether it’s navigating relationships in a digital environment or dealing with the overwhelming stress of the supply chain and inflation pressures, it seems like people are having a hard time dealing with colleagues, customers and vendors. Then there is the challenge of building relationships with people new to our work group when we are working from home nearly all the time. I’ve always believed it is easier to build healthy relationships in person. Maintaining those relationships can be managed digitally but I struggle to build that foundation without being in the same physical space as the other person.
Depending on your role at work, you may be dealing with one or more of these particular types of situations. You might even have found yourself dealing with a difficult person in this work environment. Maybe you have a coworker that is often rude and obnoxious. Or worse even maybe that person is your boss. It could be that you are dealing with a very difficult customer and in today’s economic environment you are feeling frustrated that you have to cater to their every demand for fear of losing their business. A lot of us are dealing with vendors that can’t provide us with the products and services we require to keep our businesses running,and if they can, they seem to be going up in price by the week.
All of these lead to very stressful work environments. If you are like me, all this stress can make staying calm and compassionate a real challenge. I have a long history of balancing anxiety and my type A personality (if you can call it that). Add to this an overwhelming desire to succeed by pleasing people and let me tell you, I have reached my breaking point more times than I wish to admit.
So how has Active Empathy helped me in these types of situations? Empathy has been an amazing influence on me in the workplace in a variety of ways. It has allowed me to be more understanding of others as well as reduced my overall stress by creating more acceptance for them. It has also helped me as a manager. When the people I am being more understanding with are my team members, being Actively Empathetic with them helps them feel safer, more valued and allows them the space they need to navigate what’s going on in their lives while comfortably taking the risks necessary to find success for themselves and the organization.
This practice is applicable when dealing with employees, colleagues, vendors and customers. I am sure a lot of you have read about Empathy or at least seen it mentioned often recently. It’s definitely a buzz word these days. So what makes it different in the work environment? Why do I call it Active Empathy?
Empathy in the workplace is not different from other places. However, it is not nearly as common as it is in other places; And let’s be honest, even with the explosion of Brene Brown and the AMAZING work she has done bringing Empathy to so many people, its use is talked about much more than practiced. We tend to be more self-absorbed and so it’s no surprise when we get into the high stress, metrics driven business world that it’s used even less. But that doesn’t change its value and importance. If you need a motivating reason to really lean in and be more intentional in your use of Empathy in the workplace then I am glad you made it this far into this article.
Marcus Aurelius writes in Meditations, “Be tolerant of others and strict with yourself,” and I don’t think there is a better reference for Active Empathy. This book is nearly 2,000 years old and it sums this all up in one simple sentence. For me, Active Empathy is the practice of consistently and continually thoughtfully searching for possible life circumstances that are impacting the emotions and behaviors of those with whom you are interacting. Then immediately reflecting on that possibility and letting that guide how you respond and engage with them. It’s like that more recent saying to be kind to others as you never know what they are going through.
We all have our challenges and difficulties we face. Sometimes they are minor, other times they can be overwhelming,consuming even. Often, in the workplace sharing your feelings is not received well. This is changing thanks to pioneers like Brene Brown and Gary V, but it is still not that common. This is why using Empathy, (PRO)ACTIVELY, is crucial. You may never know what and if someone is struggling with their life. I promise you this…if you do this, your relationships in work with grow stronger. As a leader, you will get a better team more willing to push harder to get the project complete. As a colleague, you will be revered more and get better buy in for your ideas. As a sales person, you will have more authentic engagement with your customers which will lead to increased customer satisfaction and referrals. Don’t forget you vendors and suppliers. When you show them Active Empathy, when they are struggling to get their quotes done, having difficulty meeting their order deadlines or needing to find a way to offset cost increases they are experiencing, which of their customers do you think will get the best price, quality and service…The one that treated them with kindness, respect and understanding ACTIVE EMPATHY!!!